This is why I came on Saturday, so I can join the mass as many as possible. And I don't know why, the mass this morning feels so emotional for me.
It's not a bad thing to come to Taize by yourself, because you will meet millions of nice people in this wonderful place. Even on 2008 I came and started my stay by myself. But coming back to Taize after 3 years, I have to struggle with the memories that I have. During those 3 years after Taize on 2008, the memories on that summer remains alive. Coming back to Taize this week, those memories even more live and has shapes; such as places. Every time I passed the Big Kitchen, "oh I worked there!", Point 5 "we had a good times after evening prayers with the other permanents", and so on. The significant memories is for sure, the Church of Reconciliation.
The Church of Reconciliation for sure is the main part of the life in Taize. Whatever you do and wherever you are, if you hear the bells ringing, then you have to stop your activity and go to the church to pray. Particularly in this church, is the only place where you can be together with everyone who stay in Taize. It's not only about if you're looking for some spot to sit then you meet someone you know and greet them, but also to sing and pray together with them.
It's nice to experience to sing Taize songs with the other thousands young people once more. But for me, some particular songs has its memories. Especially if I sing it inside the Church of Reconciliation. Such as I know this song is someone's favourite. On 2008, every time we sing someone's favourite song, I always looked up on that person, watching how joyfully he/she sing the song. Or sometimes we made an eye contact and smiled to each other. But this morning, when we sang Cantarei Ao Senhor, I tried to look for one of my friend, but he's not here! Or when we sang Gloria Deo, those faces at Tilleul suddenly came up in my mind, but they're not at the reserve place!
Those memories came even more strong when we sing the Our Father, we used to holding hands together. So on the mass this morning, I can't finish the Our Father otherwise I will burst into tears. After that, I nearly can't finish every song that we sang. But eventually my defence broke down. In addition of the feeling of " I can't believe I'm in Taize now", on the song after the communion - Benedictus Qui Venit - I can't hold on my tears any more. So dear my friends whom I met in Taize on summer 2008, those who come from Europe and the other continents, I remember all of you. I remember each your name and your face, every time I sing a song in Taize this week. Even though it will made me can't finish each song, but I pray for you.
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